Chaos in Court
by Plain Jane Is A Vampire
Summary: Draco and Harry have a dream that might solve their problems, but will it? redone, edited, longer.
1. Chapter 1

-1**Court**

**Okay this was gonna be a oneshot, but a review from Zoekske and the fact MalfoyxPotter added this story to their alert list, I decided to add sequel. Zoekske's review gave me the idea so I thank her.**

**Warning: Slash and Hilarity. If you die laughing, don't come back to haunt me please.**

**Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter then you're on something, crack, pot, sharpies, 'cause it ain't mine.**

That night Harry Potter had a very vivid dream. It involved a court room, two lawyers, a jury, a judge, four witnesses and a bailiff.

Deep down in the Slytherin dungeons Draco Malfoy was having the same dream.

Cast of Characters:

Bailey Matthews, Harry Potter's lawyer

Sapphire Summers, Draco Malfoy's lawyer

Professor Snape, bailiff

Voldemort, is here for no particular reason

Hermoine Granger, Harry Potter's witness

Ronald Weasley, Harry Potter's second witness

Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy's witness

Blaise Zabini Draco Malfoy's second witness

Angel Jones, jury member

Buffy Summers, jury member

Willow Rosenberg, jury member

Edward Cullen, jury member

Isabella Swan, jury member

Eragon, jury member

Arya, jury member

Briar Moss, jury member

Lestat de Lioncourt, jury member

Trisana Chandler, jury member

Rhapsody, jury member

Achmed the Snake, jury member

Elizabeth Yone, jury member

**I shall have anther chapter out, this was just the intro. I hope you liked it. Review or PM me with any questions about the story, Buh-Bye now,**

**PlainJaneIsAVampire**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

**Okay well here is chapter two. In case you were wondering Buffy, Angel, and Willow are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Edward and Bella (Isabella) are from the Twilight Series, Briar and Tris (Trisana) are from The Circle of Magic Quartet. Arya and Eragon are from Eragon. Lestat is from the Vampire Chronicles. Rhapsody and Achmed are from Rhapsody. Last but not least Elizabeth Yone is an oc I made up. Oh and the judge is Voldemort. **

**Warning: Slash, don't like don't read.**

**Disclaimer: ( it's not mine. **

"All rise for the honorable judge Mold, I mean Voldemort." Those in the court room rose, and Voldemort, wearing a powdered wig and black robes entered.

"Sit." Voldy said "We shall now proceed to the court case of Draco Malfoy vs. Harry Potter over several things. The first of which we shall address is the issue of who is sexier, Draco or Harry. The female part jury shall vote and based on opinion we shall resolve this issue. Now all who think Harry Potter is sexier raise your' hand." Three hands went up. "All who think Draco Malfoy is sexier raise your' hand." Four hands went up. "Then it is settled Draco is sexier than Harry."

After the jury had made their decision, Volde called a short recess before moving on to the next issue.

"This second issue is about whether you two should get together or not." Honorable Judge Baldy, I mean Volde, said.

"Hmmmm" said Draco. "I really want to shag his brains out, but-"

"I don't do one night stands Malfoy." Harry said.

"My my Potter, and here I thought we were on first name basis."

"If you only want a one night stand, we are so far from first name basis, or even mortal enemies or archenemies that you're just a bug, unimportant and not even worthy of a crush."

"Wow Potter, I think that might have actually hurt, not."

"Silence!" Volde roared. "The next person who says a single word will be killed, got it?" Everyone nodded, to terrified to speak.

Ron ran up to Volde, pushed him, and said a single word, "Bother." A lightning bolt struck Ron and he was no more than a pile of ash.

"Noooooooooooooo!" Hermione cried and a pack of rabid rabbits attacked her. Ten minutes later Mione was a corpse on the floor.

"That was odd." Briar remarked. "Tris, did you do the lightning?"

"No I didn't."

"Who cares, they're dead now so it doesn't matter." Achmed the Snake said.

His wife, Rhapsody, hit him on the arm. "Achmed, be nice."

"Could we just get on with it? I need to get home to Louis and Armand." Lestat said boredly.

"Yes let's." Buffy said.

"Draco Malfoy I call you to the stand." Bailey said

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Snape, the baliff said. When Draco nodded Snape gave him a bottle. "Drink this it's Veritaserem. It will make sure you tell the truth."

Draco drank and Bailey went ahead with the questioning. "Mr. Malfoy, describe your' feelings for my client."

"Well whenever I see him, the room lights up, and I just want to be with him forever."

"It sounds like you love him." Buffy and Isabella said at the same time. The two girls turned to each other and grinned.

"Yeah well what do you know about love?" Draco said harshly.

"A lot more than you." said Buffy.

"Just admit it you love him."

"Ok ok I love him." Draco turned to Harry and said, "I love you."

"I love you too." Harry said.

"Ok well that issue's solved, on to the third issue." Volde said. "On to the third issue."

"Which is?" Blaise Zabini said boredly.

"Whether or not your peers should know." Volde said

"No." said Pansy Parkinson and a hoard of antifans trampled her.

"Apparently Volde's speak no single word order is still in effect." Sapphire said.

"Either that or somebody just has it out for the witnesses, and if so I'll protect you Blaise." Bailey said.

"Aw thanks Bailey."

"No biggie."

Volde cleared his throat. "Now if we could get back to the issue?"

"Sure, go ahead Volde." Bailey said

"Right, well accio Hogwarts students." Volde said and the Hogwarts kids were in the court room.

"Bailey, you may start the questioning." but Bailey was no where in sight.

"Where did she go?" Angel asked.

Draco noticed that Blaise was missing. "I suggest you check all of the closets, they're probably in one of them making-out."

"Jury, go look for them." Volde said.

And so the jury went to look.

10 minutes later, Lestat's P.o.V.

I opened the last closet in the building unchecked and surprise, surprise; Bailey and Blaise were in there making out. "Hey lovebirds, get back to the court room" I said sneering at them.

Bailey glared at me. "Pinkikus Hairus" she said.

"Huh" I said, but Bailey and Blaise were already in the court room.

When I entered the courtroom, everyone was snickering. "What's so funny?" I asked and someone handed me a mirror. I looked in it. My hair was rainbow colored. I truned to Bailey with a single thought running through my head, 'kill'. With a snarl, I launched myself at her. Someone shouted "Stupefy!", but I paid them no mind and soon my whole world went black.

Narrator's

Lestat fell on Bailey, who with Blaise and Harry's help, was able to get him to me, and I put him in my magical containment feild all narrator's have.

"Now, can we please get on with the damn issue!" yelled Volde as the three returned to their places.

"Sure, geez Volde, you need to chill, or get laid." Angel said. "When was the last time you get some?"

"Shut-up, when was the last time you got some, huh?"

"About five minutes ago."

"Uh-oh." said Saph

"What's wrong?" asked Rhapsody and Arya.

"Angel is evil."

"And Buffy is a vampire." Bailey said.

"Yup, and we're gone." Buffy said and she and Angel left.

**Yes that was a combo of three or so chapters, don't expect it again.**

**PlainJaneIsAVampire **


	3. Chapter 3

???

**Be happy it's the next chapter.**

**Warning: slash**

**Disclaimer: If any of this was mine, I'd make a mess of it.**

"Oh crap, that is so not good." Bailey said.

"We have to go after them." Saph said.

"No how about we get back to the god damned case." Volde roared, then turned to the innocent narrator in the corner and said "And you. Anymore jokes about name and you die, got it?" The narrator, to terrified to speak, nodded. "Good. Now on to the issue."

"What's the issue again, I forget?" Willow asked.

"Whether or not Harry and Draco's relationship will be accepted by the Hogwarts population." Tris said.

"A gay couple? No way." said Zacharias Smith. "Yeah." said the half of Hogwarts in agreement with him. And due to Volde's don't say a single word rule, one by one, the students spontaneously combusted.

"Well that takes care of that. Harry, Draco your' relationship will now be accepted by Hogwarts." Volde was completely unsympathetic about the many deaths.

"Yeah, well what about my father?" Draco asked.

Lucious Malfoy appeared in the courtroom. "Lu, will you except Harry and Draco's relationship?" Volde asked.

Snape, seeing that Lucious was about to say no said, "Lu please? For me?"

"Okay, but only for you Sev." Lucious kissed Snape on the cheek

"Ah, my eyes." Someone shouted and Harry said "Okay, I am officially scarred for life."

"So am I." Draco said.

"Get used to it, Sev and I are getting married."

Draco Malfoy was numb. And in anyone's opinion, he had absolutely every right to be so. After years of being a bachelor his father was finally getting remarried. To his uncle. _fuck._ This sucks. I mean it wasn't actual incest, because after all, Snape was his adopted uncle, but still ewwwwwwwwwww. Shudder.

Knowing that Draco would be unable to talk them out of it, Draco's best friend, Blaise Zabini summoned Bellatrix Lestrange to help them out. Know that see as Bellatrix was his Aunt and would do absolutely anything for him he asked her to do the unthinkable…

He asked her to kiss Snape, knowing it would make Lucious jealous and that he would harm Snape. He wasn't concerned for Bellatix's safety as he knew she could talk her way out of anything.

Sure enough after a few minutes with Blaise she walked up to Snape and kissed him. And after a few words with Lu, she walked away, unharmed.

But oh woe is to Snape. For at that moment Obi-Wan and Yoda crashed down, from the roof engaged in a light saber battle over a muffin. But this was not just any muffin, no it was a chocolate chip muffin, which is why these two very wise people had come crashing through the roof, fighting over a muffin. And yet for all their wisdom these two people did not see the outcome of their battle, which was poor Snape's head getting chopped off by the lightsabers.

Everyone froze as Snape's headless corpse fell to the floor.

Lucious was the first to move. He ran to what was left of Snape and started wailing, while everyone else just looked at each other, unsure of what to do next. Then, from the hole in the roof, which Yoda and Obi-Wan had crashed through previously, came Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo, both also after the infamous chocolate chip muffin.

The three HansxLuke fangirls began plotting.

**Way better, ne?**


End file.
